Conclusion

Hajj is like a fingerprint meaning that each one is unique. People say it but you have to live it to understand it.

Tomorrow we will go back to our lives and forget valuable lessons. Maybe that was a big part of why I kept this diary.

To live a life of an average person here is more enriching than those who live in the tall high rise towers and enjoy all the perks that come with them.
If you want to know yourself then mix with the people, see what you learn and what you take away.
Once Ibn Masoud (ra) was in a place where nobody knew what he looked like and when he went for water from the well he was pushed and shoved by the people but he was happy as he got to live as a simple soul.
I will never be fit to even stand in his shadow but maybe I understand a little of what he felt as every time you leave the hotel there is an adventure to be had regardless of your background and where you come from.
A smile can open many doors and is understood and welcomed by all. To turn your prayer mat sideways and share with the person next to you can make all the difference.

I would love to come alone just once without to worry about being responsible for someone so that I can really push myself.
I never ever dreamed I would be here for the third time and maybe my seven nieces will need me as a mahram to bring them. Whatever happens I just cannot get enough of it.

You will learn so much about yourself. You will learn so much about others. You will be tested in ways you couldn’t even imagine.

If you think you have patience, you will find out on Hajj.
If you think you love for others what you love for yourself, you will find out on Hajj.
If you think you can cope in challenging situations, you will find out on Hajj.

Test is when you are broken, tired and hungry and you have just found some shade but then someone in more need comes along.

Test is when you have swollen feet, your bed is singing your name and an elderly couple come to ask you to help them complete tawaf and sai.

Test is when you find cold water but your brothers need it also.

Test is when you sit all night trying to keep a good spot for Fajr and someone comes right at the end and tries to share it.

You will appreciate so much more once you are here.
Your health, when you see the condition of some people in the tawaf but yet they drive on determined.
Your wealth, when you see that a man’s dinner depends on your leftovers. That a sister cannot eat what she wants as she is a riyal short.

Many times in life we are comfortable in our worship and measure ourselves by those who do less than us and many times in life we see those who have more then us and we are not content.
The complete opposite of what we should be.

Being here really redresses that balance.

I see hundreds of thousands of people everywhere I look, each one more determined than me to seek the pleasure of Allah. When measured against these giants I fall very short and will really have to pick up my game to keep up.
I see many, many people with a fraction of what I have and you can’t put a price on that contentment.

All these people, so little crowd control but on hearing one voice will form straight lines and move in unison.
Standing together and bowing together. All hungry for the same thing. The pleasure of the One alone who alone deserves to be worshipped.

With regards to my personal journey, I realise one fundamental thing.
After all the worry and stress I put myself through before this journey began there really was no need.

My mother was Allah’s guest and Allah alone looked after her.